I think it is a combination of many things, but definitely a feeling I have yet to have while in France. We just had an amazing 10 days with friends from Northfield visiting us. I am definitely sad that they are gone, especially since we were looking forward to it for so long. By having them here, we were able to share so much of our life here with them in Paris. But at the same time, when they left, it was almost like we were saying goodbye to our Northfield home and friends all over again. (More about our time with them later.)
I am definitely missing the "back-to-school" pace as well. Usually this time of year has me frantically setting up my classroom, reconnecting with staff, and doing last minute "summer things" before the first day of school. Instead, I am watching it from afar, via Facebook, and missing that professional connection.
I are also mourning the end of summer. In some ways, I think I have seen these first six weeks in Paris as just a summer trip or vacation, one that will end with the start of school. But now we are starting school here, away from what we know, with me as the teacher. While I have already started lesson planning (surprise, surprise!), there is a level of anxiety as to how it will go with mom being the teacher.
Then there is the overall worry still of whether we are doing the right thing by being here for a year. While I am 85% certain that this is the right choice for our family, I look at what the kids are missing, and what I am missing, and worry.
So while I desired a year of being "out of touch" and "on our own," I am finding that this back-to-school time is making me very homesick. But I also know, like any transition, I just need to get through it and we will be back to our new normal.
The reality is setting in for you, because your “normal” rhythm is not the new rhythm. You’ve made a wonderful choice to immerse in French life. All of the McLaughlins will thrive. I feel it! So, embrace tue blue. It will fade as you settle into the post-summer rhythm of your lives!
ReplyDeleteI can understand. You will feel differently in a few weeks. Never forget the 'non-classroom' things you are all learning. So valuable and we all wish we could be doing that with our kids. It'll get better!
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ReplyDeleteBetsy, I am just reading this and I am hoping that this “ feeling blue” has past by now. It’s totally understandable that these feeling of doubt, sadness, and being homesick will appear, and that the new normal for this year is a bit scary. But you will be adjusting and you will be a great teacher to your kids. Think about all the wonderful experiences you already had in the first month and how many more you will have. This is so valuable and priceless and while at times it may seem doubtful that this year abroad is a good idea, you will gain so much from it and you give your children a head start into becoming open-minded and bi-lingual and globally conscious. That’s a great gift. And you will see once you started into the new normal with school hours and such, this year will fly by and before you know it you will be on your way back to Northfield, probably being sad about it. Sending wishes of happiness and joy. You got this👍💙
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